I sit writing this after a flurry of busy days. I’ve been waking up feeling so heavy, so tired, so sleepy. And while things are pretty quiet in terms of clients these days, it seems as if busyness is an ever-present state of life. Plus, after two Thursdays in a row going past midnight and sleeping at almost three in the morning, my system is a little out of tune with the world.
I need rest.
Last week,
’s newsletter entry? article? (what do you call an individual entry in a Substack newsletter?) “Prioritising rest in difficult seasons” spoke to me about everything I’d been ignoring. Yes, indeed, rest is a practice. Not just a time off. Not the eight hours of sleep you get at night or that power nap you’re forced to take in the afternoon.Rest is slowing down. Saying no to things.
And after a busy past two weeks of playing wing-woman to a close friend whose boyfriend flew over to visit her and her family for the first time, meeting up with friends I’d met during my Thailand trip, dealing with work, looking for work, cooking for the family, meeting up with friends I haven’t seen in the last quarter, and everything else under the sun you could imagine—this is it. I am ready for rest as I have ever been.
Only I wish I hadn’t been driven to this point of exhaustion where I feel like my bones are crying out and my mind is so tired. I wish I could approach rest more mindfully and make it a practice, indeed, instead of the afterthought it often is.
And so the next couple of weeks or so are going to be an experiment of slowing down. This weekend, I have a staycation with my family, and in the weeks after that, I’ll be undergoing a health treatment which will help (read: force) me to slow down.
When I was younger and it was November, approaching December, I always wished the year would be over quickly because I wanted the new year to come already. Yesterday, during the late night/early drive home with a friend after our reunion/early year-ender, we talked about how 2023 felt unusually fast. This time, I told them, I wanted the years to go by as slowly as possible. I want to savour every minute of it. I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that I’m growing older or that I’m a little selfish because my siblings might be scattered around different parts of the globe soon and I’m clinging to what is familiar because I’m so desperately afraid of change. Or it could be because my parents are growing older and I see it every time I look at them, and I’m desperate because nothing can stop this passage of time.
So how can I embrace the slower days?
Savour moments with the family. Meal times have always been my favourite moments in the day—even more so now. It’s one of the rare times we are complete, can catch up with what is going on in our lives, and talk about random things.
Slow down when eating. When I was working in the corporate world, I had to eat fast to jump right back at work. This is probably one of the main reasons why my gut isn’t doing a good job these days (hence the treatment I mentioned I will be taking). Slowing down in eating means enjoying food preparation and every bite I take. There’s so much flavour out there, but we don’t often slow down enough to enjoy it.
Not pressure myself. It’s easy to get into the trap of thinking, “If only so-and-so had (or hadn’t) happened, then I would have done this.” I got into tennis during the pandemic and would pressure myself to keep up with it and do a good job. When I couldn’t play because of the weather or my busy schedule, I’d fall into the toxic habit of letting my thoughts punish and pressure me. Not anymore. There are days when you need to rest. Days when you need to give yourself the kindness and grace you often encourage others to give to themselves.
Go deep in writing and learning. When I’ve got work and other activities, it’s hard to focus on growing as a writer. I spend a large chunk of my time reaching out to clients, researching, writing. I don’t really have time to take classes or do deep dives of topics. I don’t even have time to read books, and writing for myself is often a hasty scribble here and there, just to tick it off my to-do list.
Say no to anything else that is neither a priority nor a necessity or doesn’t bring me joy. Learning to rest means learning about what makes you happy, what you will choose to let into your life and take up a bit of your attention. These days, I try to filter out what I feel so-so about, so I have space for the things that bring me true joy. It isn’t easy. It requires setting boundaries that others may find offensive. But it helps.
I don’t know how life is for you these days. If life is quiet and calm and beautiful for you. Or if it is a flurry of busy days and snatches of sleep like it is for me. Either way, I hope we’ll slow down. And get the rest we so desperately need.